Let Us Not Forget

In just about 2 hours, another Black History Month will have passed. For some, its a far too often reminder of the history that this country has had on a select group of minorities. For others, its just another month of an often busy lifestyle. For any of my readers that may be reading this as something to just pass the times, I encourage to never forget. We as a country must not forget that this country was built upon the torture of innocent souls.

There's absolutely nothing that we can do to change the mistakes of the past but we are obligated to help change the future. Never forget the songs of the Negro slaves who cried to God for mercy. Remember their stories, experiences, hardships and headaches. Never forget about writers such as Harriet Jacobs and Fredrick Douglass, slaves who wrote about the realities of slavery. 

Never forget the many African American men who gave their lives for a country that didn't even recognize them as people. Never forget about the mothers and fathers who found their children hanging from the end of a rope. Never Forget about the men and women who were beat unmercifully for trying to exercise their right as a human being. Never forget the lives of Malcolm X and Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Never forget the individuals who walked for miles in protest so that we could have a better life. Most importantly, never forget the significance of the day that the first African-American was sworn in as the President of the United States. 

Black History doesn't just last for a month, it's a lifestyle. Never forget the past. Never forget the struggles that the African American race has gone through to get to this point. While we have come so far, we still have a long way to go. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream that his children would not be judged by the color of his skin. His vision has yet to be completed. Somewhere there is a person who is fit to complete his journey. Somewhere, that person is destined for greatness. 

Is it you? 

The Most Awesome People in the world!

“The leaders who work most effectively, it seems to me, never say 'I'. And that's not because they have trained themselves not to say 'I'. They don't think 'I'. They think 'we'; they think 'team'. They understand their job to be to make the team function. They accept responsibility and don't sidestep it, but 'we' gets the credit.... This is what creates trust, what enables you to get the task done.”

 For 4 days, I was given the opportunity to go on a leadership retreat with about 38 other people. I wasn't told what this leadership retreat would encompass or who would actually be attending the retreat. The only thing that I was told was to show up at a certain day, it was going to be in the woods, and it would be informative and of course FUN! Now having attending so many other retreats of different sorts, I was immune to the false promises of fun and informative workshops. I just stepped on to the bus with a care in the world. For four days, Me and 38 other students came together and formed our own little inner community. We were able to share with each other our personal triumphs and our failures. There were times when  I questioned why I decided to even attend this retreat because I just wasn't ready to go that personal with that many people who I didn't know from Tom, Dick or Harry. However the lessons that I learned from being in the presence of greatness and pure Awesomeness (like Ritu loves to say) is that you discover things within yourself that you didn't realize existed. For years, I grew up thinking that the world was a God-forsaken place that filled with corruption. For years, I believed that people were always out to get me and that they were just inherently selfish. Being at this retreat made me learn to trust people again. For four days, every preconceived notion that I had about people and about life in general was negated just by the actions of great human beings. You guys have become my brothers and my sisters. We have created such an everlasting bond that can't be created nor can it be destroyed. I swear we might as well create our own co-ed fraternity (just kidding). But I love you all dearly and thank you for restoring my hope in people.

THE GLOBE!!!!! The second part of my blog has to be dedicated to my core group, the Globetrotters! *throwing up the globe sign as I speak* You guys were so amazing in every aspect of the word. I have never met a more diverse group of people who have inspired me to actually trust people again. Each of you hold a specific place in my heart. I know this was an extremely long blog but it was necessary for a group of people who have made a giant impact in my life. And since my facilitator Courtney loves quotes, I thought that it would be beneficial to end with this quote

“This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life.”

I love you Geaux Lead Winter 2011!!!!

It's a New Year. Time to reflect upon the past one.

Happy New Years Everyone! Each year I get stronger, wiser, and more mature from the life experiences of the year past. I'm not going to write a long drawn out blog because I'm currently at my family's house spending quality time with them and my love. However I will leave you will my bit of advice. Let the past be the past and don't bring the baggage into the new year. I've learned that I can at times, hold on to grudges and let that affect my attitude. Last year has taught me that life is way to short to worry about the small stuff. Live in the moment and don't let no one take that away from you. Be Blessed everyone!

Decisions, Decisions

I'm sure we have all had to have this conversation at some point in our lives with one of our friends who doesn't know what to do about their relationship

Friend: Girl he doesn’t appreciate me. He doesn’t realize everything I do for him.

Girl: Why don’t you leave him

Friend: I feel like I’m in the relationship by myself. He doesn’t pay attention to any of my needs

Girl: Again, Why don’t you leave him

Friend: I don’t know, I love him but I’m tired of dealing with all of his bullshit. He puts me through so much

I’m the type of person that has a hard time hiding my facial expressions (as most of my friends know) so I usually have a puzzled look on my face. It isn’t the conversation that puzzles me but it’s that last sentence in the conversation; I love him but I’m tired of dealing with all of his bullshit. He puts me through so much. Today I was sitting at work and one of my coworkers was just pouring her heart out to all of her colleagues. She’s been with her boyfriend/fiance (depending on what day of the week it is) for about 5 years and within that time span he’s had multiple affairs, one which resulted with a child.  She went on and on about how she is such a good woman and she doesn’t understand why he puts her through all he does. When another coworker asks why she continues to stay in the relationship, the girl responds by saying, I don’t know, I love him but I’m tired of dealing with all of his bullshit. He puts me through so much. Now while I hate to see anyone depressed, I can’t help but feel that she is part of the problem. Now I am in no means condoning her man’s behavior but there’s an old adage that says, Fool me once, shame on you; Fool me twice, shame on me. As much as I love my friends, I get tired of hearing the same excuses. Last time I checked, after you turn 18, no one forces you to do anything that you don’t want to do. The reason that your partner puts you through their bullshit is because you ALLOW it. No one can do anything to you that you don’t give them power to do. For example; If my boyfriend takes me to a restaurant and tells me that I can buy anything that I want without worrying about the cost, best believe I’m going to order the most expensive thing on the menu (sorry bae). Why? Because I can. If he continues that pattern at every restaurant that we go to, the end result will be the same thing. I’m going to order the most expensive thing on the menu because I can. Relating that back to relationships, If your partner messes up the first time and there is no consequences for that behavior, they are going to keep doing it over and over again because they can. Just because you go around crying and complaining doesn’t mean that they are going to change. What’s the point in changing if the end result is going to be the same? If you’re in this predicament, in my eyes, you have two options:

• Leave
• Stay

It’s really not that hard of a concept to grasp. You either leave them or you continue to put up with them.  Actions speak louder than words. Declarations without actions are pointless and begin to sound like broken records. When you are truly over someone and their foolishness, there is nothing that they will be able to say or do to make it better. If you are that unsure, then you’re not ready to leave. It won’t matter what anybody says because you’re still going to find an excuse to stay. You have to live with your decision whatever it may be but just remember that whatever it is, bring some tissue…you’re going to need it.

The True Definition of a Hustler

It’s a very random topic that I have been forced to address. I was having a conversation with a person in one of my classes, and they told me that I didn’t have what it takes to be a hustler. I was baffled by this statement because obviously they don’t know where I came from. I’m sorry but just because you slinging dope and corrupting our neighborhoods doesn't make you a hustler, it makes you a disease. Anybody can be a disease. Just because you bump Lil Wayne, Webbie, Boosie and Gucci Mane in your car doesn’t make you a hustler. In fact, if you never lived in that life, you’re a poser. Being a hustler means that you have the knowledge and understanding that your life is not your own. That you have a greater purpose in life than to become a dope boy. In order to be a true hustler, you have to challenge yourself and overcome any obstacles that come your way. Being a hustler means that you are willing to get up every day to better your future and the future of those around you. It means kissing your child in the morning as you go to work cleaning bathrooms in order to put food on the table. It means having the heart to deal with the triumphs and heartaches that come with obtaining an education. A real hustler cries their selves to sleep at night because a teacher told them that they weren’t good enough to be in school and then still shows up the next day in class. A real hustler keeps moving forward when it seems their back is against the wall. A real hustler follows their dreams even when their own family doubts them. You want to know what a hustler looks like. Look at all the single mothers and fathers who work multiple jobs because they refuse to be on welfare. Look at that college student that’s working 2 part-time jobs in order to stay in school. Check out that president of ours, who keeps his cool even when Congress is threatening to block everything that he’s trying to accomplish. That’s a hustler. My family’s full of them. My older sister kept perservering even when she was met with opposition. I’m a hustler because my mother laid down the foundation and I’m laying down the groundwork so that my brother and sister’s path in life can be easier. I constantly surround myself with people that have that hustler’s mentality. I have a church member who moved to Gonzales and started a mime team to keep some young men off the streets. I have a boyfriend and friends who are willing to lay down their lives to protect this parish, this state and this country. Those are hustlers. I have class members who refused to have the “thugh life” mentality and chase higher dreams. Friends who are willing to go to law school to challenge the inequalities within our society. Associates who are deciding that they are opening up their own small business. These people are true definitions of a hustler. If you’re swimming in mud than that’s the only thing that you’re going to see. Do yourself a favor and raise your standards and expectations of yourself and those you surround yourself with. Learn the value of hardwork and dedication before you start to judge anybody’s situation. Until you do, you’re not a hustler, you’re just a statistic.

Baby Momma v. Wife

I am in no way judging anybody’s particular situation but when did it become okay for women to settle as the baby momma? I was sitting in class yesterday, and one young lady that she had no intention on marrying her boyfriend of 12 years. Keep in mind that she has 8 children with this man but she was perfectly content with just being his baby momma. To me this is sad. There is no way in hell that I am going to lay down and get pregnant with a man and have no intentions towards marriage. Now I understand if the relationship is already in the direction towards marriage and the pregnancy is an accident, that’s acceptable. But to just have children with a man because he’s spitting some game in your ear is stupidity at its finest. If you think that I’m talking about you, chances are I am. I really just don’t understand why people are so afraid to get married. If you’re living with a man, laying up and having his kids, then you’re doing everything that’s expected of a wife WITHOUT the title or the assets. That, my friend, is being stupid. I refuse to be just a baby momma without having a ring on my left finger and his last name. That ring symbolizes that he has chosen me to be his forever, the one that he can’t live without, the one he wants to come home to, etc. Just because you are his baby momma does not mean that you are his wife.  I’m sorry but those two terms are not the same thing. If you are still reading this and you are getting offended by what I'm saying, then take my advice: STOP SETTLING! It's not that hard. Have more expectations in yourself and the relationships that you decide to develop. A man will only go as far as you allow him to go. If you're not placing any standards on yourself and your relationship, what makes you think that a man will? You're not in control of your destiny but you are in control of who you decide to keep in your life.